Tuesday, January 22, 2013

What defines you?

While riding in the car the other day, Luci was being her usual self and asking a load of worldly questions for a 5-yr-old. It made me think of how we have raised our kids to be inquisitive, challenge things and be themselves.  I think Luci has definitely found her place in this world as a free spirit and Ivan is well on his way, as well. 

It really got me thinking about how we start, as children, developing who we are, what we stand for and what we value.  Without being coached in any way, she has developed a very definite personality full of quirks and uniqueness.  She sees the world in a very innocent light.  She loves animals, music, dancing, fashion and being an overall princess.  Even at the tender age of 5, she knows who she is, what she likes and what she doesn't like.  She has many qualities that defines her.  She is a lover of anything magical, mystical, and shiny.  She lives life in a very laid back way that resembles a summer-of-love hippie.  When people think of her, they think of a sweet, spirited, and opinionated pixie.  (At least, that's what I think of her.)  I love that she has such an infinite interest of things beyond what I think a 5 yr-old should be interested in.  She asks about how Jake and I met, as if we have always known each other.  She wonders what animals think, like if they have something they want to be when they grow up.  And above all else, she is thankful that she is part of our family.

A few days ago she looked at me with those huge blue eyes and said, "Mommy, I'm so glad that I live here with you, Daddy and Ivan.  I'm glad you're mommy."  And in spite of their constant bickering, she loves her brother.  Even when he is being difficult and she simply wants to be near him, she loves him with all her little being.  She looks up to him and idolizes everything he does, but she is also not afraid to tell him to sit down and be quiet.  I love that about her!  I always hoped that I would raise a girl that didn't take any shit off anyone. ( I secretly giggle when she stands up to her Daddy and he can hardly stand it, because she is so darn head strong, like him. He melts and usually fights back a smile.)

While Luci is a head strong, independent, free spirit, Ivan is quite the opposite.  He is a people pleaser.  A tender soul.  A sensitive, strong boy.  With all that he has endured in his life, with health problems, ongoing medical tests, scans and being poked and prodded, he is so strong.  Yesterday, as he was getting his blood drawn for the millionth time, I was in awe as he sat so quietly in the chair and chatting with the nurse, as if he has known her for a lifetime and they were reminiscing about a life full of experiences. People have always said he had an "old soul" and was very wise for his age.  This is becoming more apparent as he is getting older.  He complains of the "childish" behaviors of his peers and how he gets annoyed with silly behavior.  He is a rule follower and he HATES it when others don't follow the rules.  You can see the problem I have here with Luci who is definitely a rule breaker! 

Making sense of who we are and how we define ourselves is an ongoing and evolving process in life and I am happy to see that my children are well on their way to becoming their own person.  This thinking has got me thinking about myself and how my definitions of myself have changed over the years.  So, how would you define yourself?  I'm sure there is no, one definition of yourself, but I'm curious to see what others think of themselves and if that jives with the view the rest of the world has of them. So here's my list (*GASP, this is very revealing and personal, you know...if I do it, you have to do it too!)

1.  I believe in seeing the positive in every situation.
2.  I love being alone, although, it doesn't happen often.
3.  I think a lot.  Sometimes, too much.
4.  I love to write, draw, paint, create and sing (not well).
5.  I am a silver lining kind of person. 
6.  I believe in making the best of everything.
7. I laugh and smile a lot.
8.  I am a great friend.
9. I am a great listener.  I sometimes give kick-ass advice too!
10.  I am understanding, compassionate and give the benefit of a doubt.
11.  I give everyone a fair chance. 
12. I can read people pretty well.  I am also a pretty judge of character.
13.  I really, sincerely love the company of my husband.
14.  I take lots of things into consideration when making decisions, judgements and conclusions.
15.  I am sarcastic and have a pretty goofy sense of humor.
16.  I love life and am thankful for it everyday.

So there you have it.  My God, that was harder than I thought.  Even if you don't intend to comment or respond to my rant, please give it a thought.  What defines you?  The answer might be quite liberating!

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