Monday, January 14, 2013

Mommy Worry

This morning, in the shower, I was washing my hair, and all of a sudden I hear the door to the bathroom creek open. I peek out the shower curtain only to find the Yorkie sitting on the bathroom rug. Whew...I sure didn't want to have to get all ninja on somebody. In the flash of a few seconds though, I realized that I had created a whole horrible scenario of something happening to my family in my mind.

We are all guilty of mommy worry. You know you do it too. Those moments when you concoct some worst-case-scenario in your brain and go through all the possible outcomes in your mind. You name it and moms have probably thought of it. Hell, doomsday preppers have nothing on us when it comes to running down the worst case scenario ahead of time.

I have talked to many other moms about this and I know it's not just me. I have heard completely sane, educated women tell me their worst case scenario mommy worries. My sister in law has a whole plan in place in case an airplane crashes into their house. (Her fear is not completely unfounded...they live within a few miles of a small airport.)

In addition, I have heard the what-if-the-bridge-collapses-as-I'm-driving-over-it scenario. Holy crap, what would you do if the bridge collapses as you're driving over it? My personal  fave is when my first born came home from the hospital, we had set up a spare bed in the nursery, so I could be near him and nurse.  The bed had a simple metal frame with no head board/foot board.  I had this irrational mommy worry that I was going to drop him and he would hit his head on that damn metal frame.  Of course, I never dropped him and he never split his head open, but my God, I spent many dreary-eyed nights worrying about that!

My mommy worries have been anywhere in realms of a catastrophic event like a meteor crash to a child falling down the stairs requiring a full body cast. When Ivan was a baby and very, very sick, my mommy worry got really out of control.  I would create horrible what-if scenarios in my mind so elaborate that I starting feeling as if they were real.  As soon as I talked to my doctor about this ('cause I thought I was going crazy!!)  she reassured me that mommy worry is very normal.  She also said that it is our defense mechanism to mentally prepare us if something catastrophic really does happen.  She reassured me that my extreme mommy worry, at the time, would pass in time, due to the stressful health conditions that my first born was experiencing.  Thankfully, the extreme mommy worry has since passed and now I'm just down to the worry of a fall down the stairs, broken heart or missed homework assignment. 

We all want our kids to be happy, successful and confident so I think mommy worry is very natural.  My own mother says that she still experiences mommy worry and I'm 34 years old!  Great, so it never goes away!  My point here is that no matter how old your kids are, you will have mommy worry. Whether they are still infants and you check to make sure they are still breathing at night while they sleep (you know you've done it!) or your child is fully grown and trying to find a job/relationship/love, we are going to worry.  So worry as you may, but remember mommy worry is normal.  It simply means you have someone that you love so much that you would be devastated if a meteor hit them while they were driving in their car and the bridge was collapsing.

So, now I'm curious, what's your mommy worry? Feel free to share!

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