No Shame November:
Dear Me-10 years ago:
Hey there beautiful! Don’t roll your eyes, suck in and look at your ass. You ARE beautiful just as you are. I know it’s hard for you to see. But those thighs that you hate, learn to love them. They are fantastic. And your butt-bootylicious! (there will be a song in a few years-you’ll learn that word). What I am trying to say is you are wasting so much energy looking at that silhouette and you are missing the big picture. There is so much more to you than what size jeans you are wearing.
You’re almost 19 in a few weeks, and you’ll know that we still count down the days even at 28. The guy you’re engaged to, we are still married and if you think you love him now-just wait. It gets better. Better than you ever thought it could be.
That’s not to say it’s a walk in the park. You are going to cry and be mad and yeah a few times want to throw in the towel. But you will learn to love someone through thick and thin. He isn’t perfect and you aren’t either. My best advice going into this marriage? It isn’t all about YOU.
But you’re 19 right now and you’re life should be about you. Whatever you love to do, do it. And don’t let anyone discourage you from doing it. Your happiness is about you and you are the only one that can make that happen. You’re meeting a lot of new people right now and remember they are on their own journey-doing what makes them happy. They don’t have to like what you like and vice versa. Be open minded. It will save you a lot of headache that isn’t your business anyway. Learn to accept others for who they are- figure that out and you will see your world open up and you will be happier.
I know you must be curious what life is like now ( and how big your butt is). I am pleased to tell you that you’re doing alright and your butt is great. Your husband can’t keep his hands off of it and it shows-with the amount of little people laundry you have these days. Approaching your 29th birthday-no you’re not getting jewelry and you don’t want any either (I know you just felt your heart stop didn’t you. Breathe, just breathe). Every day you get to snuggle and kiss and take care of your beautiful kids and that’s all you want; Just one more day to do just that. I have realized how precious time is. Every day I feel it. This wont last forever and it breaks my heart to the point of tears to think about one day all of this will stop. So make the most of it- Love through it all-the good the bad and the ugly-love on baby girl. You have a big heart – show compassion even when you might not get it back.
One final thought, make sure you have your camera with you on June 27, 2012. Something unexpected will happen that day and you will wish you had it.
Your 29 year old self
p.s. Go visit your Grandma as much as you can. Really, I mean it.