Sunday, March 17, 2013

Procrastinator's Remorse

I did it again.  I spent too much time on the couch yesterday and not enough time doing the things that I shoulda/coulda/woulda done.  I do this almost every Saturday these days.  I get so excited about the fact that I have no plans that I, indeed, do nothing the whole entire day!  Well shoot, I started out with good intentions.  I did do one whole load of laundry after all.  I drank a couple cups of coffee and spent most of the day surfing Pinterest and blogging.  If I did accomplish anything, it's that I wrote a few blog posts about things from the classroom this week.  Silver linings, people.

I have a uber-important meeting at work with an administrator on Monday and I have this very tedious reflection thing to write and I know it's been hanging over my head for weeks now.  Do you think I even looked at it yesterday, when I had absolutely nothing else to do? If you said no, you were right.  I waited and waited and waited some more, until I was in utter panic mode about it today.  But hey, that's just how I roll, I guess.

Instead of cleaning, interacting with my family and working on the important reflection, I blogged, surfed other blogs, read and Facebooked.  Then I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to Jake asking what was for 5:30.  Crap! Since I was being a worthless slug, my knight in shining armor ordered pizza.  We ate and watched a re-run of SNL and that's when the procrastinator's remorse kicked in. 

It was almost bedtime for the kids and I suddenly realized that I hadn't done anything with them.  I take that back, Luci and I read some books together and Ivan and I laughed at some funny pictures on Pinterest together, but it was not the Mom-of-the-Year quality time that they deserved.  As I tucked them in, I felt like a total jerk.  What have I done!?  Not only had I professionally avoided the writing of the reflection, but I had also completely wasted a day with my kids.  I'm sure that this is more of a mommy guilt thing than it is a horrible mom story.  I'm sure they weren't phased by my lack of motivation for the day. 

As I got ready for bed, I started to feel down and a little depressed about the whole thing.  And that never happens, people!  I felt like a total jerk for being selfish.  Then I had to snap myself out of my pity party.  I vowed to myself before I fell asleep that there would be no wasted time on Sunday!  So as I drifted off to sleep, I made a mental list of all the things that I needed to accomplish to make up for my Saturday slothness.

This morning, I sprang out of bed at 7:30, poured coffee, loaded the laundry, and started some blueberry muffins.  All of this before 8:00!  Redemption!  I made a grocery list, wrapped my nephew's birthday present, got the kids supplies to make a card for nephew's party and showered.  Then I worked on finishing up a blog post and dressed both kids.  We were out the door for the nephew's party by 10:45 to go to lunch.  We let the kids pick, because I still felt guilty from yesterday's shenanigans.  After the nephew's party we took the kids to a St. Patrick's Day parade for too much candy and public drunkenness.  The kids didn't get drunk, I mean, other people were drunk.  Boy, St. Patrick's Day is a way different experience with kids!

This afternoon we went to the store, we made dinner and I finally, finally finished the reflection.  Phew!  I think I redeemed myself for my selfish stupidity from yesterday. 

I think that the lesson learned from all of this it that everything is okay in moderation.  I think I "over lounged" yesterday and paid the price for it.  I suffered the guilt and made a plan to not beat myself up over it.  I redeemed myself in my own mind today and learned that even if we make mistakes, we are human.  No need on dwelling on it, just do what you need to do to change.

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