## Monday, February 4, 2013

### How many days have I loved you?

This evening's conversational piece that was blog worthy started with Ivan.

"Mom, do you know that if I put a check mark on a board for every day I was alive, I would have a lot of check marks?"

"Indeed, but if you did it for your whole life, you would probably need a bigger board!" was my reply.

Then, it really got me curious just how many days he has been alive. He was obviously curious too because as I was thinking "Oh, we should actually figure this out!" he was already looking for the calculator.

So, with some of my help, he figured out that he has been alive for 3,113 days.

Wow, is that all?

I was really surprised how low the number actually was, considering it feels like he's just always been here! We then proceeded to figure out that Luci has been alive for 1,850 days and Grandma Cindy has been here for 19,784 days!  We continued this math lesson by figuring out that Daddy Jake has been alive for 13,426 days and I have been here a mere 12,467 days.  Phew.  If that doesn't make you take a step back, I don't know what does!

It was so weird to put it in simple terms of how many days we have all been alive!  Considering the amount of life experience Ivan has gone through in those 3,113 days, I was amazed!  Especially since most of this toughest days happened in the first 455 days!

I can hardly believe that only 3,114 days ago I had no idea what true, unconditional love meant.  I never in a thousand years would have imagined that I could love, care for and worry about another human being like I do with my children.

In those 3,113 days, I have learned not to sweat the small stuff, how to multi-task like nobody's business, and comfort another human being into the wee hours of the morning.  I have learned that giggles and smiles can turn the worst day in the world into something magical.  I have found out what it means to feel your heart beating on the outside of your body.  I have experienced the most wonderful 3,113 days full of wonder, love, despair, questions, fear, acceptance and admiration.

So, when someone says to live each day as if it's your last, they aren't kidding.  We really don't get that many days, so I guess we better make them all wonderful!  Leave it to a 3,113 day old kid to slap you with some philosophy and reflection on a Monday night!

My question here is: how many days old are you?  How many of them have been wonderful?  If your wonderful days aren't many, what are you going to do about it? Right now.